Mission: Accomplished

It wasn't a personal goal of mine to see Miss Hotpants removed from the workplace, but that happened just last week. For reasons not discussed by The Company, Hotpants' employment was terminated. So, mission accomplished, I guess. No more dressing like a moron for me! Unfortunately, no doubt more dressing like a moron for her at some other place! Better there than here.

Mission: Accomplished.

If you insist...

This afternoon The Work Group had a meeting during which The Leader reiterated that there is no dress code but said that we "should" dress like professionals "to show that we're serious about going places in the company."

HA.

There are some people who have been in our department for over a decade. There are some who have been with us for only a few months. We all do exactly the same thing. There IS nowhere to go in The Company except for out the door! Which is not a direction in which They can send us for dress code violations because (say it with me), there is no dress code.

I need a crown, fairy wings, and roller skates, stat.

Field Op #1

Code name: Sporty Spice Thursday

I think it's important to dress appropriately for work. Appropriate can mean any variety of things and in my office, jeans and a nice shirt is entirely appropriate. Jeans and a shirt are not hard to come by, they are easy to find in one's size, and they are simple and even comfortable to wear.

Yesterday a coworker wore Daisy Dukes and a tank top and flip flops while she pranced about the office. The day before it was leotard pants, an 80s retro sweater, and visible bra straps.

But hey! There's no dress code!

Now, I do have enough dignity and sense not to parade about at work with my underthings displayed for the world, but I also have a sense of self sufficiently secure to wear running shoes, gray running capris with reflective yellow stripes, a hot orange running shirt (also reflective), and sweatbands. And so I did.

After being told yesterday that there is no dress code, I threatened to wear pajamas but again, the dignity thing. That's not to say that this particular get-up was easy to wear (I felt absurd) in an office where many people are dressed in khakis or skirts, but I'm making a point here, folks. My outfit was not appropriate for work, but it was appropriate in and of itself. And hey, there's no dress code, so quit staring.

Backstory

After months of being subjected to my coworkers' bra straps, hot pants, and yes, bare feet, one coworker's outfit yesterday was just the, ahem, "best." Once I determined that we are not (in fact) running a strip joint, I asked my supervisor if he could please provide a copy of the company dress code policy to the worst wardrobe offenders.

Turns out The Company does not have a written dress code. Which is ironic, since The Company tries to monitor every aspect of its employees lives right down to bathroom breaks and caloric intake during lunch.

No dress code, eh? Maybe The Company assumes that any given employee has the common sense required to dress for work. Office-type work, that is. Unfortunately, The Company has assumed incorrectly and my department is a gold mine for what would--in any other office, I'm sure--be dress code violations.

But The Company says there is no dress code. Alright. Then let the games begin.

The mission

The mission: To display, via passive-aggressive wardrobe choices inappropriate for the standard office workplace, the need for a company dress code.

The rules are as follows:
1. Hygiene is not to suffer.
2. Any given outfit must be appropriate in and of itself.